Posted by: Keith Thomas | October 23, 2011
Recall Notice-God
The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart.
This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units.
This defect has been identified as “Subsequential Internal Non-morality,” more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed.
Some of the symptoms include:
1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish or violent behavior
6. Depression or confusion
7. Fearfulness
8. Idolatry
9. Rebellion
The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this defect.
The Repair Technician, JESUS, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required.
The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R.
Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCEprocedure.
|
|
Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.
No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:
1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self control
Please see the operating manual, theB.I.B.L.E. (BEST Instructions Before Leaving Earth) for further details on the use of these fixes.
WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list, and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on Jesus. DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility. Thank you for your attention!
- GOD
P.S. Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice, and you may contact the Father any time by ‘Knee mail’!
|
|
|
Advertisement
Like this:
Be the first to like this post.
Hi Keith
Just looked you up on the web to see how things worked out for you. Last time we spoke was at South Kent Community Church in 1999 or so and you had just been given the right to go to the US and get work as a pastor.
You mentioned that the desert was a place where you could focus on temptation. You learned a tremendous amount about pushing into God. I learned loads about him from you. You were broken and accepting of God’s will for the length of stay in the wilderness, and the following day were granted your visa.
I have never forgotten you. I read in your blog that your troubles have returned but it is hard to tell where you are at now. One thing is certain, you handle hardship well. be aware that people in whom God invests high office need to experience brokenness in order to meet their authority with the right attitude.
Go well friend
By: John Fudge on January 3, 2012
at 4:13 pm
Hi John, yes, a lot of things have happened since I was with you at South Kent. Many difficulties on the way, but it is in those things that Christ may get glory. Actually, I was thinking that it is high time I took a visit to England, it has been nearly 12 years since I was there.
You might be interested in my website of http://www.groupbiblestudy.com
maybe it explains why the enemy is challenging me at every step!
By: Keith Thomas on January 3, 2012
at 4:46 pm